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My friend, an American guy, has experienced a lot of first dates where the women already bring up kids and marriage and he’s like ‘woah, what about your favorite music first?
’ Rebecca: My experience dating foreign guys here has been comparable to back home – so pretty awful actually – but the general picture of foreign guys in Japan is that they really want to date Japanese girls.
It seems that Japanese couples move quickly into relationships, and very early on they’ll talk about marriage and kids.
Christa: I think that dating isn’t so common among men and women in their late twenties and early thirties.
Chiara: Or if they don’t want to talk to you then there’s just silence. I’ve noticed that if I show a little too much enthusiasm or come across as too independent, that will trigger silence.
Like if I initiate wanting to meet that puts some guys off here.
’ Rebecca: A similar thing happened with my friend.
I mean I think that people will go on lots and lots of dates, going in and out of relationships over their twenties and kind of assessing what they want before they settle down.
Chiara: Hmmm there’s a lot of pressure for both sides to get married and establish at least the appearance of a stable family unit as soon as possible.
Chiara: I heard too that Japanese men weren’t so interested in foreign women but my experience is kind of the opposite.
But you don’t know if they’re interested in you as a person or because of your foreignness.
But after they said goodbye and he messaged her saying he wanted to see her again so there’s obviously some kind of cultural dislocate there.